Non-pastry things I learned at Pastry school this week

In the immortal words of MatchBox 20-'it's 3 am and I must be lonely'. Having just returned from class, I'm unable to sleep despite exhaustion. This happens every night. Rational me wants sleep; but my body and head need about an hour to wind down before I can get my sleep on.

 As a result, here I am, sharing a few non-dessert things I've learned this week:

[*Disclaimer*-to the maternal figures in my life reading this blog: I apologize for any and all crude comments made henceforth. I promise to maintain my ladylike nature by vowing to never get acrylic nails or booty shorts, or pregnant in high school]

1. It is possible to live on pate a choux (cream puff dough). Cheese benets for dinner and a profiterole for dessert can start to seem like a 'normal' meal.

In the immortal words of Colin Farrell (in his straight to video film):
'This is breakfast, lunch, and motherf&ing dinner right here'

2. Alternatively, it is possible to go from 4:30pm to 3:00am without eating, drinking, or peeing.

3. There are many new, creative, ways one might considering torturing their foes; this can range from pouring hot caramel on them to chasing him/her with a blow torch. You may also consider constant dish duty.

4. In the 17th, dwarves would be put into large pies at ceremonies. Seriously: http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/PieHistory.htm. How messed up is that?

5. Finally, as it relates in my free-association heavy mind: you can find the world's tiniest contraceptive in pastry school:

 Good night, moon!